one more hr...

one more hr!!! dang assignments! ahhh

i cant find my...

i cant find my nail clipper!

i feel li...

i feel like brusing my teeth.. off i go.. its gonna look like this> =D

sh...

she speaks french! its difficult for me to contain myself when she looks into space, her eyes are so beautiful.. eveything about her is beautiful.. i love the way she removes her hair from her forehead so he eyes can glare from the light better.. i love the way she leans onto her palm when she listens to someone.. it makes me wish i was near her, closer than the 12 feet we are away form eachother.. our eye contact and the smiles we throw make me happy.. but i'd prefer to listen to her.. and watch her gestures as she talks about things she's passionate about, i love her voice and the black little slippers she wears.. i get scared and nervous around her, but when i'm near her she's so beautiful and her personality creates this joy in me.. i want to know her more, but i dont want to invade her space or make her feel uncomfortable since its probably obvious i'm interested in her.. shes irish and speaks french.

i've...

i've been talking to this guy, M, and my bf and i would get on these little arguments on the insecurity of our relationship, because of the distance.. we're about 2 hours away.. i opened up about the many guys that have attempted to have a relationship with me, but its normal like that.. people want you when youre taken.. well he got angry.. and recently i explained how none of them attract me blah blah.. and yet i'm still talking to this guy.. i hate to say this but i fall in love easily, but for a short moment, it goes and comes back... grr M:I would never be mad at youM: unless you stopped loving meoh geeze..

i wen...

i went to this gathering with a bunch of women.. most of them being old friends, others almost seeming to be sluts, but down-to-earth sluts which did make them sexy but i still had to put up with them... they were mere aquaintances... somewhere during the 4 hour chit-chat one of the girls brought up celebrities and personal stories of getting illegally involved, angelina jolie and biance of destinys child came about and how sexy they were.. the entire room was practically filled with women and they started talking about fucking women which surprised me but i was attentive to what was going on even during my side conversations.. i doubted anyone was or would admit to their bi or les sexuality.. even though i believe everyone is gay in their own level... but i enjoed hearing them argue over who they would fuck and how entirely beautiful each woman is... i remember some talking about their posters all over their room.. it made me wonder if the posters were hung to turn on their boyfriends or they actually hung them for themselves... some of them even said, "she makes me a dyke" heh i didnt feel like putting in my input but i enjoyed listening.. anyway they were pretty crazy later on they started punching each others breasts which i thought why dont you make out already! overall it was a pretty interesting time.. i've talked to some girls i've seen but never talked to and there was a lot of eye contact and smiles.. which i hate because i dont know what theyre thinking.. either theyre flirting or thinking something like what color is her hair which really pisses me off because i dont know what body language i should respond with... uggh! i was able to spend time with a friend i havent seen in years, he was so awesome.. we went to this restaurant and well it was just nice.. i dont think i was cheating hehe.. this guy was like an old friend that of course i still have feelings somewhat for, but i still was thinking of my bf of course phone is ringing :)damn i want a gf :( .. how do i know when a girl is throwing me vibes... i get confused when theyre so damn nice..help?

commitments ar...

commitments are bad... uggh

i love ...

i love the darkness and gloom the clouds give when it rains.. the smell of pollution driven away, the sounds of the pattering of water almost everywhere playing music like an orchestra, and the wetness... it makes me all warm inside

its rai...

its raining yay!!! gonna go do the "soup" thing =D

all...

all good in the hood now... wow what am i listening to?!

ouchj...

ouchjust got into an argument with my mother, i offended her and now i feel guilty... damn i hate this... going through situations like this for years with the same person i would think you would know how to solve the problem... i'm so selfish shit!!!!!!

fuck i...

fuck its cold

conversation ...

conversation with a friend..him(k): You there?me: yay!!!!!me: hi sweetiek: lolk: I love when you say YAY!!!k: How are you?me: heheme: i'm happy to see you onk: lolme: i'm really tiredk: I was on before.... but I didn't see youme: and theres some guy that wants to cyberk: How come whenever I am on you are tired lolk: It lolk: I am sorryk: i was on too, i didnt see you eitherk: Talk to you someother timeme: are you leaving?k: Because it is late over there right?me: its only 10k: I thought you said you were tiredme: i'm always tiredme: hehek: lolk: That is funnyme: but i stay up anywayk: Well....................... How was your day?k: lolk: How was your day?me: pretty good i guessme: i'm just concentrating how tired i amme: heheme: *onk: LOLme: Funny womank: You make me roll laugh all the timeme: lolk: I get a big kick out of youme: thats nice to know:)k: Usually in school.... I just walk to my classes and don't talk to anybody.me: awwk: Although.... every one knows me and always say hik: You popular in your school?me: oh yea i'm like that as wellme: i wouldnt want to be popular if i had a choiceme: but i think i know a well large amount of ppl in the schoolme: i'm thinking its the same as youk: I am kind of populark: Not all because of looksk: But because friends need help... I help them and they fell like I am da bomb and I am like a god for them to hang aroundk: I am like someone that makes them feel safek: How about you?me: ahhk: You feel like someone helped you and you owe them?me: i'm not sure if i can relate as much as the "god" part, but friends go to me for help, advice, and security as well... they way i see it is that they like me because i can understand them in mostly every wayk: Well.... I am the person people feel they owewhy are there friends? are they really friends? i never had a best friend... i came extremely close until she turned against me for the 5th time... go figure... maybe i'm scared of the relationship of having a best friend... that issue would come up so many times... i dont think i'm "best friend" material... and i'm sorry to those people that i deliberately screwed over because the truth was i was scared to become your best friend... talk about defense mechinism...yeh ya... i have problemsgo me!

its so cold i...

its so cold i want to hibernate.... theres no sun and i'm all bundled up.. it almost seems as if i'm in alaska.. i have so many things to do this entire week, i should start now.. start sleeping..

i'...

i'm so hyper... i just got back from an awesome ride i need to get all cleaned up... i bought myself some new shampoo and i'm going to go enjoy it pretty soon... lol i'm a dork

pa...

parents think i started up smoking again... damn i want a good rock or punk song to listen to!!!!!!! any suggestions??

wine, chi...

wine, chips, FRIENDS, and homework :P

bed.....

bed... blah

i'm hungry an...

i'm hungry and the parents are fighting again *door slam* i need to do my homework.. maybe run an errand for a composition book for school.. its monday oh wait yay its tues! haha something to look forward to. dark angel is on tonight.. i feel like partying or maybe even watching a movie... i should just go for a walk

ahh

alrightly i knew i gotta write something... i'm forcing myself to be on the net since i've already been here for about 6 hours or so... during that time i wasn't even sure what the hell i was doing... i feel drugged which i'm not, just high on coffee and it explains why i want a cigarette... grrrrrr i should be doing so many other productive things, but hey i just love to waste time and procastinate ;)

th...

throat hurts and i'm about to take off to the library.. damn physics.. this song reminds me of Save The Last Dance.. i dunno about yall but it was cute, and i need to get a pic for myself =/ note to self: find pic!

wow

well well well.. i started my first entry =o and i have no clue what to say.. maybe that i'm tired and there are no friends on my list =/ i'ma loser! haha actually i'm really sleepy and the sun is coming out...i'm going to put away my glass of milk and my blueberry scone and hit the sack... someone please say hi so i won't feel lonely